Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Helpless

There are so many times in our lives when we feel helpless, today I have felt especially so.

I woke up this morning with such an eerie feeling, I had been tossing and turning in bed, and finally I felt this force DRIVING me out of sleep. I went, groggily, to the kitchen and noticed that my cell phone's light was on (the ringer was turned off). I thought, wow that's weird, looking closer to see a 207 number pop up on the screen. 207 is Maine's area code, my mother's area code.

After a few seconds, that felt like minutes, I picked up the phone to hear my mother's voice. I knew something was wrong. She told me, in her frankly abrupt way...

"Chetney know, don't be scared, but I had a TIA and now I have to get an MRI".

"WAIT WHAT? A T..WHATNOW?"

"I had a mini stroke, but I'M OKAY!"

She knew what I needed to hear, I was SCARED for her, but she wasn't scared it seemed at all. She just told me "You know, whatever is meant to happen, will happen."
At least I know that she is going to try to take care of herself, and has been scheduled to see a neurologist, and hopefully figure out what the next move is.

She has high blood pressure, and recently found out she has high cholesterol as well, so I'm worried for her. I know I have to just believe that the warning signs have been caught, and that everything will be okay.

She told me she woke up in the middle of the night with no feeling in the right side of her body, it only lasted for 5 minutes but maybe I can look at those 5 minutes as her saving grace.

If you knew my mom you would know how much of a struggle it must have been for her to see the DR, but I'm so glad she did.


Give your family an extra hug tonight.

I've had a pretty rough day, internalizing everything. I'm just so glad that I woke up, and I'm so glad for the power that made me wake up.

I worked out for an hour trying to sweat out my feelings. I still have a knot in my stomach but worry will bring nothing but stress and sadness.

I love you all.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

Oh hon, I'm so sorry this is happening to you guys, but I'm glad she's doing okay. I'll be thinking about you.

Mollie said...

I'm so sorry chetney. I hope everything gets better for you and for your mom.

SlimKatie said...

Oh no! I'm so glad that she's okay, but I'm sure that must have been so scary to hear. I'll say a prayer for her!

The Mrs said...

I'm so sorry! My grandpa went through this all summer so please make sure you tell her that ANY feeling of weirdness that is out of the ordinary needs to be reported. She needs to be her own best advocate so if any future ones try to show up she can put the smackdown on them. So glad she is okay!